10 Reasons Airlines Are Like Your Ex

10 Reasons Airlines Are Like Your Ex

September 4, 2013

Have you ever found yourself completely dumbfounded by an airline by how awful they are to deal with? How much of a hassle it is? How difficult it is? Painful? How unwilling to listen they are? What poor communicators they are? Shouldn’t they be trying to befriend you, and romance you? You, after all, are giving them money. This, unfortunately, is not the case. Airlines are more often found to be like our annoying exes than the romantic, perfect dreams we have of them. Here are 10 reasons that sum up how airlines and are exes are working from the same playbook.

 

couple-after-argument-300x2001. They’re Both Poor Communicators
There is nothing worse in a relationship than poor communication. It destines it for failure before it’s begun. Whatever it is that your ex had trouble communicated, it left you feeling frustrated and often times angry. The same feelings come around when airlines so frequently communicate poorly. They hide baggage fees, they do a bad job of announcing delays, and they change departure gates at the last minute leaving you to scramble. This can easily be compared to what your ex might’ve hidden from you or forgotten to tell you until the last minute, and all of it is frustrating.

 

2. They Both Take Your Money
In your last relationship you probably gave and gave until you nearly had nothing left to give. Not only do the exes make a mess of your heart, but your wallets too. As for airlines, they’re right on board with taking and taking, and taking some more. They’ll take all your money if they can, but they have tricky ways to do it. They’ll make you pay extra baggage fees, or pay for your seat, or even make you pay to print your boarding ticket at the airport. As long as you’re willing to give money, they’ll take it, much like your ex.

 

hook3. They’re Masters of the Bait and Switch
Things seem great at first, right? Your ex seemed like the perfect person. But then you noticed their flaws. The person you considered spending your life with hated all the things you loved, bad mouthed your friends, and only showered twice a week. It’s the perfect bait and switch. Don’t show your flaws until they’re hooked. Airlines do it too. Bait them in with the beautiful vacation or the super cheap airfare, and then when you really go to book you realize you can’t, but you might end up doing it anyway because your mind is already sold on the trip. The classic bait and switch.

 

4. They Both Want You to Settle for Less
Airlines, like your exes, hate working too hard. They tell you to not be so critical and accept them for who they are. They try and get you to lower your standards. Well don’t! There are plenty of things (and people!) at your standard level. Stop settling for takeout food and crappy TV every night, and stop settling for the tiny middle seat, back row for your cross-country flight. Let your ex settle, not you.

 

parents-main5. Your Parents Don’t Like Them
Whether your parents waited until you broke up to tell you or not, they never liked your ex. They knew you could do better. They’ll always think that. They also think this is true about airlines. When that airline gave you an unexpected delay and you missed Thanksgiving dinner, they got upset and started holding a vendetta against them and every other lying airline since. They expect you to be on time, they are your parents after all. Next time you’re flying home, check the current on-time-performance statistics and choose an airline with fewer delays. Your parents, and you, will be glad you did.

 

6. They Won’t Take Responsibility
Both exes and airlines LOVE to avoid responsibility. Exes are known for ignoring requests or pretending not to hear you. Or maybe they’re jobless and depending on you. Whatever it is, their responsibility is missing. Airlines are no different. If they can put the responsibility somewhere else, they will. They even have an “Act of God defense” that allows them to dodge the legal responsibility to help passengers with lodging, transport, or other expenses that may be incurred because of bad weather, fuel shortages, or any other reasons “beyond the control” of the company.

 

1234774_616386145740_1528384651_n7. They Have a Lot of Baggage
Nothing is more annoying than having your baggage lost, and likewise, almost nothing is more painful (and sometimes annoying) than having to sift through your exes past baggage. In both relationships and air travel it seems we don’t really know what we’re getting ourselves in to. Our exes tend to unveil their baggage well into the relationship. As for airlines, they have more baggage than you’ve ever dealt with. Or maybe lack of baggage, depending on how you look at it – about two million pieces of luggage are misplaced, damaged, broken into, or delayed every year.

 

8. They Won’t Cook
When it was time for your relationship to end, you probably had a feeling in your gut, or some feeling of intuition letting you know. Like this, airlines will give you a feeling in your gut too, but it’s just hunger. Most of the time, you’re lucky to get pretzels instead of peanuts on flight. The more filling options are just a snack plate or a sandwich. Don’t even think about them cooking. And don’t think about your ex cooking. They never pulled their weight in the relationship. That was your job.

 

Turbulence9. They Both Bring Turbulence
You’re entire last relationship with your ex was probably a bumpy ride, unfortunately your ex didn’t give you the courtesy of announcing it was coming like the pilot does. Although we’re sure you’ve learned your lesson and your future relationship(s) will be less bumpy, we can’t say the same for rides through the air. In some parts of the world, like the North Atlantic corridor, it’s been said turbulence is likely to get worse by mid-century.

 

10. They’re Cheap
Being practical and being cheap are two very different things. This can wear on a relationship very quickly. Airlines can be cheap too, where we’d prefer them to just be practical. Making us pay for things at every turn. A tiny bag of peanuts. Fewer amenities. We feel we’re getting the bare minimum, but we paid to get at least a little more than that. And like we said before, they both take your money, which makes them even more cheap.

 

 

It’s time to break up with this way of life. It may seem cliché coming from a travel agency, but booking through a travel agency helps alleviate many of these problems. We help find you the cheapest fares, so no bait and switch. We’re also very knowledgeable about so many locations so we can give you firsthand advice on where you’re going. When there’s a cancellation, you can call us and we’ll work to get you on the next flight out. The airline won’t do that for you. We also know which airlines charge baggage fees, and seat selection fees, and can help you maneuver these as much as possible as well as helping you pick your seats in advance. We also care, already more than the airlines do, and your ex did.

 

Call one of our flight specialists today and book your next vacation. You deserve it. This is no bait and switch. It’s the real deal. Happy travels!

 

 

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